Mama Systems and Gentle Parenting... can they co-exist?

You want to keep the peace in your home and minimize arguing with your child... but you need (and WANT) them to do their chores. You have tried both positive reinforcement and negative consequences, and nothing seems to work. You might have even heard of gentle parenting, where the premise is to listen to, give voice to, and for sure not give consequences to your children.

I think the both/and theory here is a strong one. It is important to listen to our kids, stay curious, and find out what is behind the battle/tantrum/fit/disrespect. And at the same time, the children do not get to call the shots in your home. There is a reason God designed families this way! For one, it shows us as His children how to be wise, discerning parents. And TWO... there are only one or two people with fully developed frontal lobes in charge... those aren't functioning in the kiddos yet for a reason. They need you, Mama, to mold and shape them.

While they are in your home and you are pushing them toward the “self-sufficient adult that they will be,” remember that your goal is to help them become that. Giving them opportunities to learn what responsibility looks like. What failure looks like. What taking care of themselves looks like. What conceptualizing, planning, and execution of tasks look like. What does doing a job with excellence and respect look like? The possibilities for growth are truly endless.

Your home is the best place for them to learn that. Chores... while sometimes difficult to initially implement... are a very impactful way to implement those lessons. The way our kids will learn these lessons best is through repetition daily. They may complain, they may not do it to your standards, and you might even think, “It would be so much easier to do it myself.”  But teaching these lessons early on will help them be successful not only in school but in their careers and marriages as well.

So, how do I get my kids on board? 

1. I create a plan and share it with them ad nauseam. 
2. Continually talk about your family as a team system... You need each other!
3. Set clear expectations of what, how, and when you expect something done. 
4. Be faithful to consequences. If you decide that they can’t do screens until chores are done... that's amazing; stick with it. 
5. If you fall off the wagon, have a hard week, or nothing goes as planned? Hop back on. It is never too late!!! 

Next week, I will share more tips on hopping back on the wagon. But until then, get those chore systems set up at home if you don’t have them rocking and rolling already. 

This chore challenge will walk you step-by-step through creating a customized chore system for your home. 

Here for you, Mama!

Free Chore Challenge Guide: https://www.mamasystems.net/3-day-creating-chores-challenge