How can we wake up now, Sleeping Beauty?

Uncategorized Jul 18, 2023

I was listening to a podcast this week about our identity as moms and how we so quickly wrap ourselves up in the “mom identity” that we often forget the dreams, desires, and goals of the person we were before we had kids. They spoke about the person before kids laying dormant in a way and that one day when kids are all gone that “dormant you” will wake up. 

 

I get what they're saying. There is a reality of our lives being put on hold and away so that we can show up for our kids on a daily basis. 

 

But what if we could wake up the dormant YOU before the kids are all out of the house? Our experiences as mamas, for sure, have shaped that sleeping beauty but do we even know who she is? 

 

May I ask that this week you take yourself, along with your sleeping beauty, on a date to get to know her? 

 

Here are some questions you can ask yourself to get to know yourself a little better

I got these from PshycCentral if you...

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I am not normally up for using people, but she is a different story.

Uncategorized Jul 11, 2023

Ever since Alexa came into our home I have been amazed by her usefulness. She acts as my memory so often. And as a mama with so much to plan and organize and keep track of I will take every opportunity to offload some of those responsibilities on someone or something else. 

If you have an Alexa or Google Home in your life, may I encourage you to do the same? 

Here are some amazing skills that are often overlooked with Alexa.

 

Timers- kids use this all the time for screen time, if they have 30 minutes for Xbox it is their job to set the timer and show integrity. If they don’t they cannot earn Xbox for a week. 

Alarms- You can customize these alarms to play songs to signal to your kids that it is time for bed, chores, or time to get out the door. 

Reminders- I have Alexa remind me of things when I am not around my desk to write them down. 

Routines- You can set up routines for your day. An example of this would be when I say, “Good morning...

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A Gift of Freedom for You! Happy Fourth!

Uncategorized Jul 04, 2023

I hope that this holiday is exactly what you need it to be.

 

This week our family is putting the final touches on our summer road trip and I am always blown away at how much planning has to go into our trips. From the destination and activities to the snacks and entertainment in the car. There is so much. 

 

I see so many correlations between planning for trips and planning for the systems in our home. This may seem like a stretch, but stay with me. 

 

If we do not have a destination or a goal for how our home will run then we will aimlessly continue to simply react to life and not live with intention. 

 

When we have destinations and pit stops planned we can be more flexible with the in-between. Just like when we have the structure of our day planned, we can easily get back on track when the unexpected happens. 

 

Having our activities planned in a certain location, and knowing how we want to spend our time makes it easier to say no to...

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A system for marriage

Uncategorized Jun 24, 2023

Wouldn't it be great if I could give you a foolproof system to make your marriage amazing?

Tony and I both know and are very well aware that our marriage has not been an easy one. I feel we have had our fair share if not more in regards to struggles.

We also know that having special needs children increases the chances of divorce by 30%. This is definitely not something that we want but we know it is a possibility. With all that being said, it has become vital for both of us to create space and time for each other to connect. From very early on we knew the importance of a date night but really began to feel the importance of a date night when we went from four to eight kids. We know that the most loving thing we can do for our kids is to show up not only in a great place individually but in a healthy place and on the same team in our marriage.

 

Having 10 children you might think that we have gobs of extra cash to spend on babysitters and go on extravagant date nights, but you...

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How to turn summer wishful thinking into a game plan.

Uncategorized Jun 22, 2023

This is our first full week of summer and I would be lying to you if I said that I love this time of year, because the truth is- It’s really hard for us. Having our special buddies home all the time means my vigilance levels are higher every day. 

 

Knowing this about myself and our family I began a ritual a few years ago. It’s simple and I would like to invite you to try it too. 

 

Every summer I take myself on a date and use that time to ponder what I really want for the summer. Most big things, like camps or trips, are already on the calendar but my focus for this time is to think about the days when everyone is home, or even just a few are home. I like to use our summer time to be intentional with learning or doing things we have not been able to get to in the school year.  

 

I typically ask myself these questions:

 

What projects do I want to accomplish this summer? (organizing the shed and the garage area)

 

What thing...

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How using alarms changed everything

Uncategorized Jun 22, 2023

If you have been around awhile you know that one system that we could not so without in our home is 5 o’clock jobs. Having this timer go off not only signals to me that it is time to start cooking dinner but it also lets the kids know that it is time to do their chores. 

Creating a teamwork mentality for our home started with this simple system. 

BEFORE this system: I would often forget to start making dinner until it was too late, the kids were too far gone and had entered into hangry in a bad way, then when I started cooking dinner I had them watch a show to give me space to cook the meal they needed. While watching the show they were destroying the living room that I had just cleaned up. I, meanwhile, was getting more ticked off by the minute. Ticked that I was the only one doing anything. Ticked that they were watching tv, destroying the room, and demanding things of me all while I was trying to serve them. Oh, and I am sure that some of this bitter anger was...

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Do you buy your own Mother's Day gifts?

Uncategorized Jun 20, 2023

I know exactly what I want and I bet you do, too. I love a homemade card just as much as any Mama, I really do. But when my husband asks, "What do you want this year?"... that is where the magic happens. 

 

Dream with me for a minute. Wouldn’t it be nice if …  

 

- Instead of dinner being taken care of for one night, you had a plan to get dinner on the table stress-free every evening?

- Instead of doing chores around the house (begrudgingly maybe) this one day of the year, your kids joyfully helped out daily?

- Instead of one night away or a day of self-care, you had a plan of action for daily, weekly, and monthly self-care?

 

 It sounds too good to be real, right?! But it doesn't have to be.

Something I've learned from the systems I've put in place in our home is that nothing magical has to be too good to be true. We can make things happen in your home that you never dreamed would be possible.

 

Would the gift of peace and calm...

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Have you booked everything for summer?

Uncategorized Jun 20, 2023

Sometimes I feel that springtime is simply an avenue to get to the summer. I love everything about the spring The flowers the baby animals are freshly hatched chicks the cool weather and all the green trees and grass. Every detail makes me want to smile. However, I feel recently that springtime has just become a space for hustling to figure out summer plants. And I'm wondering how you're doing with that.

 

I for sure desire for us to spend time in the moment and enjoy our spring and all the festivities that are involved but I also want planning for summer not to become an overwhelming feat that we can not seem to make progress in.

 

As you're planning your summer would like to share this little acronym with you that will help you purposely and intentionally create a plan. This little freeform framework will help you ENJOY your summer and your people.

 

Evaluate what you did last summer

Note the things you want to do, what are you okay with and not, brain dump it all

J...

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The Day I Refused to be the default.

Uncategorized Jun 18, 2023

I remember the morning that it happened. 

I had been up all night with the baby but needed to get the kids on the bus, so I forced myself to roll out of bed.  I stumbled over pillows and books as I made my way to the bathroom, only to find kid’s towels and clothes on the floor from last night’s bath. As I made my way to the kitchen I was greeted with yesterday’s coffee and last night's dinner dishes piled high in the sink.

 

I burst into tears. 

 

I had been awake for 10 minutes and already had a whole day's mess to clean up. I knew it had to change. I pulled myself together and made a fresh pot of coffee. As I sipped on my coffee, I made a list of how I wanted to wake up in the morning. Here is what I came up with:

 

Coffee made. 

Dishes in dishwasher

Bathroom picked up

No children's books, or toys in my room

My morning coffee area is free from toys and kids' clutter

 

To do this, to have all of these things taken care of we...

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There’s a bad moon a-risen’

Uncategorized Jun 18, 2023

I have yet to come across a mama who does not agree that the world can be a scary place. From pandemics to shootings our feeds are continual reminders that the reality the world is not a safe place. It is often unpredictable, unnerving, chaotic, and unknown.

 

In my home, regardless of the filters and safety measures we have in place, our kids are still exposed to this scary world. I can’t control it. But I have learned what I do have some control over and that is our home.

 

When my kiddos think of safety I want them to think of home. I want this to be the safest place they know. I want them to feel settled here, for the routine and rhythms to bring predictability to their lives.

 

One simple way you can create that felt safe in your home is by creating at least one set routine in the day, an anchoring point where they know they will be able to touch base with you and share how they are doing. It could be chatting over breakfast in the morning while you drink...

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